Real SOLUTIONS for real PROBLEMS:: How to gain from a manipulative selfish friend

Monday, December 12, 2011

How to gain from a manipulative selfish friend

A manipulative selfish friend who is always looking out to get as much as she/he can from you, but never offering to help you in anyway; or doesnt give a damn about your business, is your best friend. I appreciate the fact that it may be hard to keep that kind of friend in your midst especially if you are an honest person, but consider the following good stuff that you can gain from such a relationship.

- Selfish people are usually overly confident. Benchmark some of your friend's confident attributes and learn from them.
- If you don't love yourself enough to know what is right or wrong for you, a selfish person will use you until you learn to respect yourself enough to stand up for yourself. The good in this, is that you will eventually get tired of their crap and set some standards. At times it takes such characters to elicit one to love him/herself.
- Hanging around these guys will teach you how to communicate calmly under anger generating situations. Since selfish people are very annoiying, dealing with them on a regular basis strengthens one's ability to remain calm under pressure. Of course it is a choice, and a process at the same time. However, nevertheless, it is worth the pain.

Therefore, embrace your selfish friends and be grateful for the life lessons they are soliciting for you, and moreover free of charge.

Happy Holidays
www.tapthegood.com - Book now available on kindle.

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Spot-on Accomplishment

So...on Friday last week, I finally completed editing the draft of my second book-a humor, and self-help piece exclusively written for women. It was such a relief…I almost couldn’t believe that I had put all that content together. But then I remembered the magic power of channeling-where one is led to the next course of action effortlessly. Although I always believed that there was a higher power out somewhere that supported us unconditionally, this accomplishment re-cemented my belief. Before I sent the manuscript to the copyrights’ office, I made major plans to catch up on sleep. Guess what? That didn’t happen. It was like I had woken up from a long dream-and had so much to catch up on. In a way, I am grateful that I have all these other ideas flowing in my mind-as if they were in the offing for me to complete my book-project, and then reveal themselves. But…oh boy! I just wish they would give me a break to enjoy what I have just accomplished. With all that said, it hit me that this is indeed a limitless world with infinite opportunities. Just when you think that this is it, you realize that there is more to embark on…more to get involved in…more ways to give...more ways to share. How exciting life can be when you clear your subconscious, and allow the mind of God to guide you! Nevertheless, I hate to disappoint some that exploring opportunities doesn’t necessarily equate to the magic-money-making-machine. Choosing projects that you reverberate with-those that keep you excited and mentally energized, will achieve you more accomplishment than you can ever imagine. Although money is important, doing your best in whatever your pursuits are, will earn you more wealth in long run. Evidently, true accomplishment is when one embarks on projects from conception to implementation, without getting distracted. Also, it is helpful to remember that living a full life surrounded with things that keep you happy, is another major accomplishment. The idea is to keep living fully…keep working enthusiastically…keep hoping-and never limiting yourself just because you have accomplished a project. Write down a plan of what you want to accomplish this coming week. Even if nothing makes sense, the idea is to get a pen and piece of paper, and itemize your courses of action. Even just writing the words…“what next?” is a good starting point. www.tapthegood.com http://www.audiobooks.com/book/132973 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pu7PRNpPuHA&feature=relmfu http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J8hiJ8MaXp0&feature=relmfu

Man's ultimate purpose for all pursuits

To a large extent, people tend to focus on three major things in life: money, love, and material possessions. We magnify the relevance of these things, which occasionally pushes our minds into “anxiety extravaganzas,” in an attempt to discover the easiest means to achieving plentiful in the shortest time possible. Moreover, millions of books have been written about happiness and how to realize it. However, I have yet to find any argument that advocates for forcing one’s way to achieving it. In a UK Times online newspaper blog, the author James Montier, a global equity strategist, argued that several studies proved that money and possessions fail to create consistent happiness. For instance, incomes in the United Kingdom have increased tremendously since the 1950s; however,contentment levels have barely shifted. Research on lottery winners also indicated that these lucky buddies revert to their previous levels of happiness within a year of their windfall. However, more controversial is that this report comes from an investment banker, where presumably money is God. Somewhat heretically for a bank employee, the report is titled- “For it doesn’t pay materialism and the pursuit of happiness.” Understandably, this has been greeted with skepticism by some brokers who raison d’etre in their annual bonus. But Monteir says that, as a strategist, he wants to know what makes people really happy and why they force situations to happen while in the pursuit of their desires. The concept of diminishing returns, although related to production, justifies the argument that more isn’t necessarily better. Why then, force things to happen, when there is no guarantee that they will yield everlasting satisfaction?

Raise your Vibration

Metaphysically, experience reflects on one’s personal emotional frequencies or mood vibrations. Often and again, when the prevailing circumstances are not favorable, our moods recline. This is also a direct expression of our vibrations’ energetic frequencies. At that frequency, there is a high possibility that we do not only perceive, but also attract situations at that level. For instance, have you ever left your house feeling angry? If you do not uplift yourself from that vibration, you might end up spending the entire day attracting, and experiencing situations that make you angrier. As a child whenever something bad happened to me in the morning, for instance knocking my toe on a table edge or spilling water over my school uniform, my grandmother always advised me to blow my middle figure three times and affirm the words, “it is a beautiful day.” She explained that by doing this, I connected to the lucky-fate ferries that went ahead of me, and erased any negativity for that day. That was indeed a good way to raise my hopes and hence my vibration. Also, I guess you have heard of the saying, “laughter attracts laughter.” I have walked down the street on several occasions and seen a stranger laughing uncontrollably. I didn’t even have to know what he/she was laughing at. I just smiled along. Evidently, a laugher’s vibration is on such a high frequency that it expands and pulls in strangers and/or others who were not part of it in the first place. This also implies that laughter is not only healthy but also spiritually magnetic. Raising one’s vibration doesn’t really have to take much. It is a decision that one can make and follow through by searching for, and focusing on anything outside or within him/herself that promotes an excited, happy and/or enthusiastic frame of mind. This is what I do every morning to raise my vibration. I tap gently on my chest or collarbone area (strong meridian points) repetitively and say the following affirmations. “Something good is about to happen to me.” “Something amazing is on its way to me. “ “I will be calling everyone and telling them how incredible it is.” “I will be saying to myself; oh my God, I can’t believe this.” “Something great is on its way to me.” “I can’t wait to see what it is going to be.” Before I finish, I feel excited and vibrant. This technique has worked for me, and I hope you can try it out.

Stop RESISTING; REST!

As justified by spiritual law, whatever we resist persists. It is hence worth noting that resisting in itself is energy; since it involves emotions, intentions and attitudes. Furthermore, metaphysically all sorts of feelings are energetic. By resisting something, we are investing energy in whatever is being resisted; and then guess what? The resistance feeds on the underlying feeling, and then continues to elevate the resisted condition. Energy feeds on energy; once it is fed with attention and intention, it is grows and expands. In the usual way of living, this implies that once one worries about things, he/she just amplifies them. Moreover, worrying is like sitting in a rocking chair. Although one seems to be doing something, he/she is basically not going anywhere. The viable formula is stop resisting whatever we don't want, and then rest assured that as long as we are still alive, solutions will come up somewhere, somehow. I envisage that this attitude could be hard to exercise especially if whatever you are going through is beyond your comprehension. Nonetheless, the point in emphasis is to remember that worrying won't improve, or solve the situation. Therefore, "resting" in this sense means taking your mind off the challenge, focusing on the positives in your life, and then doing little things to elevate your spirit. Once you divert your attention to loving yourself, the challenge starts taking care of itself. Considering the fact that when denied the resistance-attention, the problem/challenge tends to dissolve given that it doesn't have your energy to feed on anymore. And this doesn't mean that you don't take care of your challenges. It simply suggests that you invest in a positive attitude and/or feeling towards the problem, rather than dwelling on the negatives. Learn how to surrender completely. Don't tell me that it is too hard to do. Remember, as long as you have a mind, there is nothing you can't do. Everything is about focus, determination and persistence. The intention to religiously focus on the preceding attitudes is what will produce results. Resistance is wastage of energy; which energy can be diverted to being grateful. Life in itself is a gift; a miracle that we should all be thankful for every day. Begin the day by saying "thank you" for all the things you have in your life however insignificant they are. www.tapthegood.com http://www.audiobooks.com/book/132973 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pu7PRNpPuHA&feature=relmfu http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J8hiJ8MaXp0&feature=relmfu

LISTEN

Listening to others is exigent especially if one is being bombarded by his/her own issues. It takes discipline plus the aptitude for one to let go of his/her own thoughts, in order to grasp whatever is being said. I plead guilty of partially listening to others occasionally. It is not until recently that I embarked on building the patience to listen without interrupting, either with my own thoughts and/or opinions. In the world today where everything appears to be happening at once, no one seems to have the time to listen to anyone. Moreover conversations can be very entertaining if not positively informative. When we don’t listen to others, we do not only miss out on the beauty of the moment, but also divulge an ambiance of contempt for others. There are friends I have spoken to on a number of occasions, only to learn that I was basically talking to myself. This was normally revealed when I asked a question; and the “listener” said something that wasn’t related to what I was saying. You could also tell that someone is not listening if he/she continues shaking his/her head in agreement even when you ask a question. He/she could smile throughout your conversation regardless of what you are saying. However, when you are done with your speech, he/she might ask a question to which you have already provided an answer. Others change the subject immediately and/or start talking about something different. Ironically, they then demand for your undivided attention. Listening is a great attribute that we should all embrace in our mannerisms. A good listener is normally empathetic, patient, non-judgmental and attentive throughout the conversation. He/she asks relevant questions, engages with the speaker by looking straight in his/her eyes, and avoids interruptions except if asked to comment. An excellent listener also goes beyond the norm by summarizing the significant points, and then repeating them to speaker at the end of the conversation. Although at times you may feel reluctant to listen to what someone has to say, it is wiser to avoid the situation rather than wasting your time pretending to listen, yet exposing yourself to harassment. www.tapthegood.com http://www.audiobooks.com/book/132973 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pu7PRNpPuHA&feature=relmfu http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J8hiJ8MaXp0&feature=relmfu

The FUTURE

In the past, I saved every good thing for a “future” that I always envisioned as being more colorful and appropriate for the good stuff I bought. I spent a lot on fashion and accessories, which items I packed and stored away for the “future.” Apparently, the authentic essence of living is living in the moment with full appreciation and commitment. No one knows the specific details of what will manifest in the next second, which is the future. Remember, anytime away from the now, is the future. It is unpredictable even for the planning enthusiasts. Moreover, none knows when he/she will die. Even those set for death sentences with specific timelines and details of when the plug will be pulled, still do not know when they will take their last breathe. With that in mind, it is only but logical to live your today as if it were your last. This doesn’t mean that you live irresponsible; but suggests that you appreciate and absorb every moment like it were your last. It also means that you do your best in all your endeavors, love limitlessly and unconditionally, laugh like no one is watching, eat well-knowing that the food is yours – by chewing it patiently and slowly; in addition to making daily plans that you follow through with ease and flexibility. Remember, enjoy today; enjoy the moment. Do not wait until tomorrow. Tomorrow may never come. The most important moment, is NOW. www.tapthegood.com http://www.audiobooks.com/book/132973 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pu7PRNpPuHA&feature=relmfu http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J8hiJ8MaXp0&feature=relmfu

The silly things we do when STRESSED

If you have ever been stressed, regardless of the intensity, then you have done one of the silly things mentioned here below; or perhaps something else that got you laughing at yourself. I know stress in itself is something that shouldn’t be ignored. Its effects are brutal, and could lead to life threatening circumstances. The things I have done when stressed are incredibly stupid. A while back on one of “those days,” I got back to my apartment from work; removed my shoes, put them in a plastic bag, and then tossed them into the refrigerator. On other occasions, I have opened the fridge to look for salt, my cell phone, and even detergent. On another stressful day, as I spoke to a friend with the ear phones on, and my cell phone tucked away in my shorts’ pocket, I suddenly started searching for the cell-phone. My friend sensed my uneasiness. “Are you okay?” she asked. “I am searching for my cell phone,” I responded. “I thought you are speaking on it right now.” She answered. I was embarrassed. Recently, a friend went for a “long call.” Upon completion, she upset-mindedly removed her panty and used it as toilet paper, then flashed it. She only realized what she had done when the “lot” didn’t go in a single flash. Another close friend once carried two plastic bags (one with garbage, and the other with his lunch). His intention was to dispose off the garbage before he drove to work. Stressed out, he disposed off the plastic bag with his lunch in it, and took the bag with the trash to work. I guess you can imagine what happened during his lunch break. The story that wins the Oscar is one where my friend’s mum woke up one morning to take the goat to the plantation for grazing. On her way, she stopped by the pit latrine (outside toilet) to ease herself. She tied the goat to a small guava tree near the latrine, and proceeded to do her thing. When done, she released the goat and took it to the latrine, locked the door and went back to the house. After a few hours, on her way to the plantation to check on the goat, she heard it mooing in the latrine. So, what are the silly things you do when you are stressed?? www.tapthegood.com http://www.audiobooks.com/book/132973 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pu7PRNpPuHA&feature=relmfu http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J8hiJ8MaXp0&feature=relmfu http://tapthegood.wordpress.com/2012/07/20/the-silly-things-we-do-when-stressed/

Give yourself some quality time:

In this new technological era where the world and everything in it is moving almost faster than time, we all tend to neglect ourselves just to catch up with whatever is going on in our lives. Indeed time seems to be against man. When I look at my clock at 5.00 a.m. every morning, before I know it, it is already 12.00 p.m. If I don’t begin my day as early as 5.00 a.m., I find myself struggling to complete the tasks on my daily plan as late as 10.00p.m. And this is a problem. By the end of the week, If I don’t create time to take care of myself, I feel warn out, stressed and out of balance. With that in mind, I have included taking care of myself as a prioritized task on my daily plan schedule. There are so many things that one can do to give him/herself some elite time. This may include; exercise, Yoga, getting massages, taking long bubble of salt baths, getting facial treatments, meditation, pedicures / manicures, taking a walk in the park, going to the beach, taking a nap during day, or just laying down and doing nothing. Whatever you can do to relax, will rejuvenate and prepare you to take on your daily tasks with enthusiasm and focus. www.tapthegood.com http://www.audiobooks.com/book/132973 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pu7PRNpPuHA&feature=relmfu http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J8hiJ8MaXp0&feature=relmfu

How to heal your MIND

The mind is more powerful than what we can all ever imagine. It is a creator and a destroyer at the same time. It is not something that anyone should mess around with. Composed up of the conscious and subconscious, the later, is the source of creation. It is the secret box from which the creator draws ideas to create one’s reality. The only problem is that once a memory is implanted into this subconscious space, the consequences will manifest whether desirable or not. Since we are dealing with the issue of negativity, it is worth noting that the subconscious mind doesn’t distinguish between bad and good memories. It just creates whatever is implanted in its space. Moreover, it doesn’t matter whether one is a good or bad person. The subconscious mind will create as instructed by one’s prominent thought processes and convictions. So how can one heal his/her mind, and rid him/herself from negativity? I won’t lie to you that this is an easy process. It can take months, and even years depending on how much conviction, feeling and duration that the negativity has been ducking in this subconscious space. It is takes hard work, devotion and persistence to liberate oneself from the negativity. Most frighteningly, it is insane to initiate a healing journey but still engage in negative thinking and/or activities. It is like dusting a table that is permanently positioned on a dusty road side. How could one expect it to be dust-free? Fortunately, there are plenty of tools that one can apply to liberate and heal his/her mind. The Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) is a magical tool that has helped millions of people to relieve them from their emotions, negative memories, Post Traumatic Syndromes and other mind related illnesses. It is a simple but detailed technique that one can learn and treat him/herself in the very space of his/her home. There is a lot of free information and resources about this technique on the internet. DNA re-activation, Theta Healing, Meditation, Reiki, are some other tools that one can use to reprogram his/her subconscious mind for success and especially freedom. If you are really tired of your experiences and/or traumas, Google some of the suggested techniques and you will be surprised at how much information and healing sessions are free on the internet, especially on YouTube. Meanwhile, remember that living is like roasting nuts. Once you stop turning the nuts, they burn. So you cannot give up. www.tapthegood.com http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pu7PRNpPuHA&feature=relmfu http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J8hiJ8MaXp0&feature=relmfu

How to cleanse oneself from negativity:

In my previous article, I suggested a few things that one can do to get rid of negativity. Once he/she has cleansed his/her mind of all the vampiring memories and/or feelings, it is time to deal with the spiritual and physical bodies. The spiritual body is one that connects us to our God-sense. I guess you have heard the saying that the kingdom of God dwells within us. It is vital to establish and maintain a “healthy” and ongoing relationship with your God-self. This implies that you develop a sense of faith, that there is something bigger than you, and every human. Once one surrenders his/her worries or concerns to that mighty being, he/she submits well knowing that “God” will take care of him/her. This emphasizes a worry-free life and promotes relaxation, positivity and happiness. However, it takes consistent prayer, affirmations and meditation. It also requires one to be grounded, meaning that he/she gets his/her mind to a state of absolute calm; whereby he/she views the world and its occurrences as a witness. It implies that he/she observes situations without judgment, until he/she has precisely thought through what to say, and/or do. Nourishing the spiritual body is a challenge because of the constant negativity that bombards our world. However, the determination and focus to remain in constant touch with one god-self, is without its benefits. Some of the steps one would take are listed below. - Meditate at least once a day. - Get a journal and write your experiences daily. This will ensure that your mind is vacuumed on a daily basis. - Forgive yourself and others who have wronged you, on a daily basis. - Be grateful for all the good things in your life every day. Write down at least 10 things you are grateful for. - Breathe deeply all the time, which will keep you calm and focused. - Focus on what you want regardless of how often the things you don’t want show up. - Always remember that you are not alone. You are connected to the Universal Mind, whose kingdom dwells within you. So lean on that. Learn how to surrender, well knowing that all is well. - Most importantly, before you leave your house every morning, image a white light surrounding you, and mentally tell yourself that, “I am surrounded by bubbles of pure positive energy that melt away every and all negativity.” Next week I will write about how to cleanse one’s mind, soul and spirit. www.tapthegood.com http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pu7PRNpPuHA&feature=relmfu http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J8hiJ8MaXp0&feature=relmfu

How to cleanse oneself from Negativity:

The Snivel of Self-sabotage

Before I learnt about the true meaning and implications of self sabotage, I always considered it an attitude of the weak, and negative minded. Little did I know then, that self-sabotage logs in almost everyone’s unconscious mind, especially those who have gone through unpleasant situations in their lives. This self sabotage awaits to block the host’s success whenever opportunities present themselves. Self sabotage is therefore not to be ignored. It is like a vampire that sucks onto one’s enthusiasm to change his/her situation, and feeds into procrastination, laziness and “excuses manufacturing.” I call it “excuses manufacturing” because I have related to some of the most determined self ‘sabotagers’ in this world. Believe me; they certainly manufacture excuses profoundly and instantaneously. A friend of mine was laid off a couple of years back, and to date he is still unemployed. Moreover, he is highly educated, energetic and a prayer warrior. I tell you, when this guy starts praying, you will think that God is in the room listening. If his prayers were directives, he would be in Donald Trump’s social class. However, surprisingly, he remains financially handicapped, and everything in his life continues to fall apart. It came to a point when he could neither feed himself, nor pay his bills. Then the eviction notice came in. He was taken to court, and in time, became homeless. What is ironic is that he had a loving family in Florida who had encouraged him for months to move back. They promised to take care of him, and also find him a job. But he didn’t want to leave Los Angeles because “he had friends here.” Sadly when he found himself homeless, none of his “friends” came to his rescue. I also attempted to connect several job opportunities for him, but he always found reasons; “It is too far; I hate driving on the freeway; I don’t like the name of the company you are trying to connect me to; I can’t do that job; it is too cheap; I am not comfortable with doing the job.” Indeed, he was the “reasons man.” This is but one of the examples that exemplify the traits of a self sabotager. Do you self sabotage yourself? Don’t answer that. Rather, for the next couple of days, evaluate the things you have been putting off, and examine the reasons you have for not pursuing these things. More still, examine your fears. Find out if they are valid. Begin focusing on yourself and look out for the excuses you give for not pursuing certain things. Also, are you where you wanna be in life? If not, then find out the part you have played in creating your current reality. www.tapthegood.com http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pu7PRNpPuHA&feature=relmfu http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J8hiJ8MaXp0&feature=relmfu

Monday, December 12, 2011

How to gain from a manipulative selfish friend

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